Art …

… Buchwald

October 20, 1925- January 17, 2007

W e seem to be going through a period of nostalgia, and everyone seems to think yesterday was better than today. I don’t think it was, and I would advise you not to wait ten years before admitting today was great. If you’re hung up on nostalgia, pretend today is yesterday and just go out and have one hell of a time.

W hether it’s the best of times or the worst of times, it’s the only time we’ve got.

J ust when you think there’s nothing to write about, Nixon says, “I am not a crook.” Jimmy Carter says, “I have lusted after women in my heart.” President Reagan says, “I have just taken a urinalysis test, and I am not on dope.”

T ax reform is taking the taxes off things that have been taxed in the past and putting taxes on things that haven’t been taxed before.

P eople are broad-minded. They’ll accept the fact that a person can be an alcoholic, a dope fiend, a wife beater and even a newspaperman, but if a man doesn’t drive, there’s something wrong with him.

A ny company executive who overcharges the government more than $5 million will be fined $50 or have to go to traffic school three nights a week.

E very time you think television has hit its lowest ebb, a new program comes along to make you wonder where you thought the ebb was.

The powder is mixed with water and tastes exactly like powder mixed with water.

It’s easier to find a traveling companion than to get rid of one.

This is a wonderful way to celebrate an 80th birthday, … I wanted to be 65 again, but they wouldn’t let me – Homeland Security.

II don’t know what’s coming next and neither does anyone else. It’s something that we do have to face but the thing is that a lot of people don’t want to face it. And there’s denial. If somebody says it, like me, everybody feels a little better that they can discuss it.

It was purely a decision about ‘Did I want to stay around or did I want to go?‘ It’s one of the few things where you have choice.

The best things in life aren’t things.

Quotes from Think Exist.com, thanks to Loopy: Rest In Peace Art Buchwald